Sunday, August 20, 2006

Sister's Woe

Marriages are said to be made in heaven
but….
Grimaced sister in woe;

Hollowed eye, farawaylook-
She stands alone…
Bearing the brunt
of agony, in lone.

Her body- a canvas..
Filled with swipes of black and blue and red.
Painted by an eccentric
Whenever his whims persist.

“That’s alright, you are born to bear”
Said sister upright..
“Forgive and forget..
You will be let..”



It is really ironical that - women themselves are their own worst enemies.It has been observed that most of the crime on a woman is inflicted by a woman.

What is domestic violence?

Well,to speak plainly without mincing any words,it is the pain,the humiliation,the abuses that is inflicted upon a person,disrupting her or his mental or physical equilibrium.

What is more heart-wrenching is that many educated women are tied down in an abusive marriage,mainly because of societal expectations.

It is high time that all conscientious human beings rise and shine.
Come let's join our hands to wipe out domestic violence.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I tend to disagree with this oft repeated phrase - women are women's enemies!!! I would like to see it in a much broader sphere, where little girls are socialised to believe they are of use when they do the housework to the husband's and in-laws satisfaction, when they give birth to healthy sons, when they open up their legs whenever their husband wants a quickie, when they grin n bear it...well, that lil girl grows up into a woman having moulded in such beliefs..it becomes their identity, their belief, the skin on their bodies.

Having said that, I know one cannot generalise the pattern in which violence occurs...so have always had problems when people say Oh u women are the worst enemies of women....

Violence against women has to be seen in the power play between the palyers concerned. the one yeilds power - whether the mother-in-law or the men in the house - uses the power to suppress, maim and kill....

I agree with you that people need to be united to wipe this scourge. Most importantly, women who are trapped in violent relationships must must must understand that she ALWAYS has a choice - the choice to move out, the choice to speak up. I can see many readers of this comment shaking their hands and thinking what a naive thing to say... Well NO, it may sound naive, it may sound well neigh impossible, it may sound that its easy for an educated, empowered woman like me to safe suggest and advise these measures...whatever you may think, I know it is POSSIBLE. I know that ending that violence has to come from her before she too joins the numerous other statistics on dowry deaths and other deaths! And I also know that she cannot do it alone. She owuld require help. Help from people like us, help from the government, help from her family, her community, the law enforcement agencies...utopian thought? No it is possible.

Moumita Bhattacharya said...

That’s what an ideal situation ought to be. Does such a situation really exist? The family, very often, forces the woman to ‘grin and bear’.

Now, you to want to create an ideal environment where little girls are not socialized to believe they are of use when they do the housework to the husband's and in-laws.

Well, who is going to create such? The 'few' socially, intectually and financially well off people. I repeat ‘few’ as in countable. Many educated people, with degrees as long as their arms ignore this aggravation. Especially if the man happens to be professionally successful, have impeccable behavior…

The blame, in such situation, lands squarely on the woman.

Anonymous said...

well, to create "such an ideal situation" as u put it rests on all of us. And believe me you we have certainly come a long way - in terms of shedding many inhibitions, letting go of many of those values which are detrimental to a section of the population, in discussing marital rape and sex...we have certainly come a long way....

And just like everything else in culture and values, so must this 'coming a long way situation' needs to be dynamic.

yes in most cases blame rests on the woan, but again I reiterate that women have the choice to accept the blame, or stand firm and say lay off...if she does the latter, she may have to face more violence, but it may taper off in the long run if she continues to remian firm. It may also mean the violence accelerates and she is killed - in that case she can at least die with her self -esteem in tact - she died trying, she died resisting...she did not give in...

Moumita Bhattacharya said...

Well,a human being is born free-free to make the choices, free to etc,etcs..
That again is what the spiritual books says. But reality - life, sings a different tune.

A woman,many a times, has to take a decision(a choice)to placate some near or dear ones hyper nerves.

They are blackmailed(rather a strong word)to live that life because they might unruffle 'somebody' with their radical decision.

This again pose yet another issue- how free are human beings?

Anonymous said...

U are absolutely right about women often having to make certain choices which she soes not want to - to placate society... ANd this is exactly what I meant about lil girls being socialised with patriarchal norms, and grows up to be women who make choices they dont like!!!