On Pat Rot ism

The 1.21 billion people erupted in jubilation when the Indian Cricket team won the world cup. Fervid Patriotism was what we witnessed. How a game of cricket drew out the latent patriotic spirit in the 1.21 billion people surprised me immensely. Politicians, bureaucrat, and aam janta sat huddled in their seats, their heart beats synchronized with the ball, bat and the wicket, just like our coalition government.

The night sky lay sprinkled with sparklers while the stochastic night air resonated with a cacophony of the crackers, grossly violating the environmental regulations. Not unlike the garrulous news people on TV.

The scene as I saw it on television is nothing less than a biopic of a nationalist. Political leader, and film stars waving flags and shaking hands with the aam jantas on the pretext of celebrating the world cup victory… or was it to win popularity and votes? I don’t know.

A game is a game. There will be a contestant and there will be another contestant. If one contestant wins, the other loses. At the end both are contestants. So, what is this fuss all about? Let a game remain a game and not a show of nationalism.

There are more important issues that need our immediate attention. Corruption, scams, bribery, illiteracy, population growth, inflation… and the list goes on. People who indulge in these activities are anti nationalists, no less than a gun trotting terrorist.

We need to do our bit here. We have to show our patriotism now, take a pledge to curb these malice from our society in order to make our country sparkle.

A 70+ year old man plans to sit on indefinite fast to get the Jan lokpal bill passed. He is doing this for us, for our kids, our country. Let us all do our bit for our country. Let us show our true colors. I wonder how a world cup can remove corruption from our country.

( written on the night of the world cup win)

Right to dignified living?

Monday morning my colleague pinged this: http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIM/2010/01/12&PageLabel=3&EntityId=Ar00301&ViewMode=HTML&GZ=T.

Apparently, violating the modesty of the lady did not amount to rape.A molester gets away easily just because the lady never had menstural cycle, her sexual organs are deformed and hence she couldn't really have sex. Never heard of such crap.

I cannot help but picturize what the lady must have gone through, standing in the witness box, a cynosure of all eyes,and her intimate details discussed, debated and ridiculed.

Does rape mean forced sex with a woman with fully formed sexual faculties? The perpetrator gets away because the victim's sexual organ was not developed enough for her to enjoy or understand sex. It did not matter a blink that she was humiliated. Her physical deformity was made public. She was ridiculed and, who knows, may have been branded as someone with questionable morale.

Rape is a heinous crime that mars a woman's sexuality and importantly is a gross violation of human rights. A victim is not only sexually manhandled, she is also repeatedly raped by the public attention, her whole self is exposed to public curiosity. The loss is grievous and life long.

As a woman, I do not differentiate between sexual harassment and rape. Both violates human rights.Both have the same object- to undermine the integrity of the victim, physically as well as mentally. 

Right to live a dignified life is the birth right of every individual. Yet females - adult and child, gets raped around the world every second. And we talk, we frame rules, we spend millions to frame laws only to see them thwarted, we develop workaround (to help the perpetrators get away), we protest (sometimes in candle light), we re examine our existing laws, we also keep mum lest we are humiliated further....

In short, we never fail to devise strategies to dignified living.This has not reduced the incidence of rape.

Strong, very strong, extremely strong punishment should be a part of these laws. A death sentence. No, a week of extreme humiliation before death. Rapists are criminals and worst than a terrorist. The rapist needs just a penis to terrorize.

Women sold to survive drought

Financial crisis? Sell your woman, girl child, mother for whatever you get.

This is what is happening @ Rahul Baba's and Mayawati devi battle ground (still vying), aka Bundelkhand. And our Baba and Deviji are mute. No flutter of cars rushing to the village, no overnight stay at shanties and no pictures of hand holding solace of the sold woman. After all election is not exactly round the corner.

Cannot blame them either. Bundelkhand.is not exactly at a stone throw distance from either Delhi or Lucknow. Besides, they are not exactly hyperopic. Give them a break!

(A crude joke: These men atleast considers the Women as assets, else why would they sell them off. I mean when we are stuck, we depend on our investments to pass over the bad time, don't we?)

So, the women gets sold. The men gets to eat.

Think about it, during good times, these very men make their women work like donkeys; they work the field, ensures the hearth is laid, dutifully delivers a male child (maybe after the 6th or the 8th girl born), walks miles to get the water.....

As Baba and Deviji plays kabbadi, vying for this nondescript village, flesh trade will flourish.

Jonesing Jons

Anand Jon gets 59 years for serial sex crimes. That was swift. For crimes that he committed for years. He is in his mid 30s; add 59 years to that, he would be knocking 100 when he walks out ( i.e., if he could still walk. Hopefully, his creative hormonal urges would have vitiated, if not completely deadened.)

Good enough!

Coming back to our country, a rapist gets away with easy few years in jail or the punishment waived on account of either "good conduct" or the age factor. (Well, ofcourse the green factor too holds true.)
Read http://www.dailytimesindia.com/2009/04/38557.htm.

Ofcourse, the accused will get to breathe the jail air only if the victim sticks to her words, is not paid off by the accused to keep quiet, and remains strong and steady against the gruelling and humiliating cross questioning.

But, one thing should be noted here, our judiciary is no PT Usha or Anju George. (Agility is for the sure-footed.) Remember the Bhanwari Devi case (or better still watch "Bawandar"), it took years for the judiciary to pass a verdict.

Point to be noted: It passed a judgement in her favor after her gruelling, heartwrenching, and humiliating experience.

There are exceptions too, where a judge took just few days to pass the verdict. But then, this is rare and for the otthethees (guests).

Check http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7856240.stm.

What I fail to understand is, why this disparity?

It needed the intervention of the NCW to put Shiny Ahuja behind bars. I wonder, had NCW not intervened, then his pativrata personified vociferous wife would have got her way and the poor girl would have been carted off to some obscure corner of the country, never to return to the big city.

What I cannot understand is why can't the lower courts pass a swift sensible judgement after verifying the evidences? Infact, why no fast track court? I once read that rape cases will only be allowed to be heard by a female judge. That would be a good initiative.

Again, what confuses me is the term "Life imprionsonment". I read it as a life long imprisonment. I do not understand why some accused gets away after 12 years or 14 years in prison. Rape is a heinous crime and the perpetrator should be locked away in a dungeon till death  (no parole). I still think that this punishment is not adequate enough, he should be continuosly humiliated and tortured in the dark dungeon till his death.

And the girl... she lives a life of perpetual agony, for something that was not her fault.

......cracking woes

Every parent wants their child to be happy. But no parent would want that happiness at the cost of another child. And definitely not me.

If not giving permission to buy crackers is akin to cruelty, well, I stand guilty of violating child rights (What’s that????????????).

Giving a child ‘a little bit of crackers’ (made and designed by another kid like her) for a few moments of ‘happiness’ (at the cost of another’s), which would be forgotten the next day…. Will she really appreciate those few moments of laughter when she grows up and learn that she, too, is responsible for maiming another human?

The question here is not whether I begrudged my daughter her ‘enjoyment’. That’s not the issue at all. The issue is ‘our callous attitude’; the issue is ‘misinterpretation of festivals and religious ceremony’; of 'global warming'; and the biggest issue is, of course, the burgeoning population and its effect on our economy which in turn affects child rights.

Pheeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!!

‘Sponsoring a child labor (from a cracker factory) to school’…. A laudable thought no doubt, but the question is - will this really eradicate the problem of child labor in hazardous industries?

When you take out few from those death traps in Sivakasi, there will, always, be some more to replace them. It’s like a vicious circle. These very people-who find it difficult to get two-square meal a day, are the ones who procreate like ‘maggots’. They are the ones who send their children to work or pawn their children for money.

So the equation is: more children = more money (They also know that there are ‘big-hearted’ people in this world who would take up their responsibility.)

Then ‘what’s the backup plan if those children aren’t allowed to work?’ They go to school. Yes, they go to school. Primary education is Free in all government school. And what’s more, a free mid-day meal is provided to all children in government, corporation, panchayat and municipal schools in the country.

Yeah, mere learning of the alphabets’ would not earn them their rozi-roti. Vocational training should be a part of the curriculum. How about initiating workshops/ laboratories in these schools where the kids can make paper bags, cards, handicraft items or even embroidery items. (We, too, had SUPW and craft periods in schools). These products could be sold through proper channels to ensure that the artisans get a good return.

This is one back up plan that a dim-wit like me have cooked up.

I have another one - a blasphemous idea – GET THOSE MEN STERILIZED!!!! ;)

Cracking woes

Yesterday, my daughter pleaded with me to give her permission to buy sparklers. And the obstinate me would not do so, which resulted in many heated arguments and emotional breakdowns.

“How can I not burst cracker on Diwali…. All my friends bought lots of crackers…I will be the only one standing like a fool watching them having fun... oh you don’t love me…you don’t want to see me happy..”

Well, after a lot of haggling and intense debate, my daughter could see sense and peace prevailed.

Inshaallah!!!

Well, this got me thinking (an unconventional thought) - why do we associate Diwali with crackers…it should be celebrated with sweets, lights and color. The very belief that firecrackers and fireworks are used to attract — or to advertise — good luck should be deleted from our mind.

A lot need to be undone to change the mindset and this should happen from home, permeate to school curriculum. Maybe, then the legal eagles would start flapping their wings …. !!!!

A lot has changed since we were kids. I agree, we had plenty of fun during Diwali and Baba would always bring big cartoons of crackers which would lasts for a week; most of our friends would come to our house for the cracker show... well, that was before we came to know about Sivakasi and the children involved in these factories.

Today, when I was sitting out, in my balcony, my reverie was disturbed with the resounding bursting of crackers and the romantic aura of the scented candles in the dark night vanished.

I visualized those little ones, their tiny hands fiddling with those hazardous chemicals as they fantasied about what they will get to eat at night or whether they will get to eat at all…:(

Our constitution eloquently proclaims - "No child below the age of fourteen years shall be employed to work in any factory or mine or employed in any hazardous employment".

It does just that – PROCLAIMS... the problem still persists.

Enforcement is the key aspect that is lacking in the government's efforts. Child labor is a global problem. If child labour is to be eradicated, the governments and agencies and those responsible for enforcement need to start doing their jobs.

The most important thing is to increase awareness and keep discussing ways and means to check this problem. We have to decide whether we are going to take up the problem head-on and fight it any way we can or leave it to the adults who might not be there when things go out of hand.

Protection of Women from Domestic Violence

According to a notification issued by the Ministry of Women and Child Development The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2006 has come into effect. This law is expected to provide women- wives, mother, mother-in-law, sisters, daughters, and even adopted daughter- protection against physical, verbal and sexual abuse and the right to shelter and economic freedom.

This is a laudable effort, no doubt, to curb atrocities on women. But the question here is “ how effectively would it be implemented?”

I may sound pessimistic, but my pessimism is based on my experience and from my avid interest in NEWS. There are laws to protect women from the dowry demands, from Sati, etc.., yet, scores of women have been slaughtered on one pretext or another. Where were our law keepers then? Rape cases goes on for years and it takes a long time to pass the verdict.

I feel that these legislations are mere lollies dolled out to the women fraternity. No amount of legislation will put an end to these evils. Well, I don’t mean to ridicule this legislation. This piece of legislation, like any other legislation, can only be enforced when there are honest, serious and committed enforcement officers.

Now, this is another thought that stuck me: How many Indian women would truly, speak up about her pain and trauma, and that to to an enforcement officer. Indian women are glamorized as paragon of patience and virtue in the media; they would rather tolerate than lodge a formal complaint. Most women have been tutored, right from childhood, the concept of “grin and bear”. If at all they decide to speak up, they would probably take their problems to family and friend. What happens then- they are sent right back after being pacified and made to believe that “she is not the only one going through such problems- every woman experiences the same… have patience..”

The need for the hour is not more legislations but to ensure that each girl child gets proper education; the need for the hour is total transformation of the pseudo societal thought or mindset; the need for the hour is ensuring financial empowerment. Financial empowerment will automatically ensure security and generate confidence, not to forget, social recognition.

.

Child abuse

Chubby cheeks, dimple chin, rosy lips-
Dent within.
Curly hair, very fair,
But in despair:
Eyes are blue- lovely two,
Who’s there to woo
The adorable two.


I like to share something that shocked the very core of my existence. It was like any other day when I went to drop my daughter to school. I saw a group of my friends standing in cluster and discussing animatedly. What I heard unnerved me and made me seethe in rage. A lady in the group was narrating a horrendous scene she witnessed on her way home. She saw a child being molested by the driver of her car pool at the back of the maruti van. The child, who has just started school, who is still unfamiliar with her body, was being kissed and fondled by a crude man who had been, ironically, entrusted with her security by her parents.

What is really scary is that people who sexually abuse children don’t look or act very different from most people and are not psychopaths. They are often revered upon by society and, sometimes, are very successful professional.

Contrary to popular belief, the fact is that in most cases of child sexual abuse, the child knows the abuser. Infact, we can say that child sexual abuse is most frequent within the acquaintance/family circle of the child.

I can empathize with that child who has gone through this kind of ordeal of humiliation and that is why my blood boiled over in rage at such gross violation of human rights. I blurted out to the speaker in the group, who clucking like ducklings, with hands folded, airing their sympathy-“why didn’t you stop and save her?”

“ Oh she is not my daughter… what if the driver humiliated me…?” I was aghast at this insensitive reply. I decided to be proactive and do something. But how? Not everybody is lucky like my daughter, who has her grandfather and me, to ferry her. I also told a Principal to discuss this issue at the Principal’s forum.

I don’t know if this matter was taken up or not at the forum but in this forum I have brought up this serious topic to draw people’s empathy.

Children are scared to tell anyone that they have been abused. Life becomes bewildering as they try to cope with the hurt and fear. Often they cannot fathom the enormity of this experience. Most often adults don’t understand what children are trying to tell them or hush up the matter for fear of being ridiculed. This would create emotional blockage and she would learn to hide all feelings of pain, hurt and fear, which would impair her for life.

The effects of child sexual abuse are long lasting and may leave deep scars on the child’s personality and we must become sensitive humans and not ignore the child on the pretext that “she is not mine”