Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Garrulous Farts

I am concerned and remain perplexed.

Not because of the daily street terrorism that women are subjected to. But with the attitude of regular, garrulous people who have an opinion about everything that is happening in our society and have few clear-cut tips about how our society should behave and the country run.

Free gyaan – loud and clear over stale idlis and sambhar at the cafeteria. 

Today, I decided to test the attitude of these righteous people who diligently visit places of worship and offers high-sounding gyaan to anybody and everybody who cares to listen. At lunch, I shared the news about my campaign to remove the alcohol outlet that has cropped up near my apartment. I IMed this link, http://www.change.org/en-IN/petitions/superintendent-of-police-bangalore-rural-start-proactive-policing-on-sh-35-near-confident-antlia to few people and told them to sign if they want to without any compulsion. 

(Refer to http://newindianexpress.com/cities/bangalore/article1359055.ece)

It was hilarious. Most of them ignored. (I expected that.) One lied. And one tried justifying the reason for not signing. 

I am concerned because these are the same people who cluck when they hear about gender terrorism, never missed TV programme like Satyameva Jayate, and indulge in social discourse. But freeze in fear of authority and change. 

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Robbing Childhood

Sanj is just five and she is already in the rat race – going to a play school in the morning and to the tuition in the evening – which will prepare her for admission to a good school.

So what is new? It is the same story everywhere- especially parents of a four - five years old child can relate better with Sanj’s parents. “Sending my daughter to the tuition is the only option,” says Sandra, Sanj’s mother – a professional. She feels that the tuition teacher will train her daughter to write well as the schools take written tests.

Doctors say that starting school early and pressuring the child to read and write causes trauma, which develops anxiety and later leads to depression. Doctors stress that children develops ‘visual-motor co-ordination’ only at the age of seven, but they are forced to wield pencils as early as two years. This will in turn impair ‘visual-motor skills’. The child’s’ ability to adapt is severally compromised and she is always under stress. Having to perform makes children anxious. Parents too pass on their stress on to the children. This will later lead to substance abuse.
The 'anxious-about-her-future' parents do not think so. According to them – once she gets into a prestigious school, it will be smooth sailing.

Will it be, at what cost? City based counsellors and child psychologists are perturbed regarding the alarming rise in stress related cases among children below ten years of age. According to them, out of the every ten children, seven are acutely stressed. “Parents realise the enormity of the situation only when it goes beyond their control …cases of bed-wetting, stammering, temper tantrums are on the rise.”

Parents have their own reasons for it and so do the schools. Moreover, it becomes difficult after a while to determine who to blame – parents for creating demand for such schools or the latter for meeting the demand. Child today no longer has a childhood and tomorrow they will have nothing to look back. Parents are killing their child’s childhood for their own ambition.

Since at any given time, the number of children out numbers the number of seats in schools the pressure is always on the child. Parents have become more ambitious, exerting more and more pressure on their children. They feel that it is essential to attend preparatory schools as well as evening tuitions, as they help in developing the personality of the children as they prepare them for the rigours of the Kg admission tests.
Monika, (a mother of a four and half year old son) agrees that getting children admitted in a reputed school is a gigantic task and it pressurizes them, but she added, “With changing times, I think children too will have to learn to cope with pressure. Perhaps, this is the price they have to pay to be a part of the information age.”

So while the parents slog it out to pay for a good education for their child, the resultant pressure lands squarely on the child’s shoulders.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Winners vs Losers

Be wary of Failures,
   Shrieked the keepers;
 Carve a niche…
And save a stitch
Take a hitch
And you will reach Your grandeur.
It is a fact that society has always looked up to moneyed men and women and the less competent or lucky people, although never held in great esteem, were at least tolerated.
Take the case of Sonali (name changed). Being the eldest among her three siblings, her parents had invested lots of expectations on her. She grew up trying to fulfill all her parents dream and in the process got lost in the plethora of expectations and dreams. Ultimately, she was a failure, having chosen the wrong career. Thus, she was relegated as the proverbial ‘black sheep’ and labeled a nincompoop.
Lack of encouragement, motivation and self-esteem and relentless comparison with others spelt doom for her. Incessant contempt, criticism, jibes and utter disregard made her look for love and happiness elsewhere and she pursued it with a vengeance.She had forgotten that happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, and the further it will fly.
With the changing socio-economic scenario, the non-achievers have been rendered as superfluous oddities, best forgotten. Success and successful people are more visible today, thanks to the media, than before.No wonder, then, that the frustration of people who have not yet made it increase as they inch towards invisibility, knowing that their families are slowly giving up on them.
Don’t you think that it is high time that family members de-stigmatized failure and ‘failures’? Infact, we must redefine ‘failure’. An effective way to do so would be to recognize any failure as temporary and society should stop looking at people as commodities, weighing assets and deficits.