Recently, in our locality, a senior citizen, aged around 80, ran away from her house, leaving her husband dazed. The reason is still not clear though. Some says that the daughter-in-law is the reason; some says it is over property dispute.
Whatever the reason may be; the fact remains that she left her home, of over 50 years, in desperation.
This makes me ponder- where has materialism led us? In this rat- race of one- up – man ship, we have relegated our values, traditions and most importantly our souls to the proverbial ‘backseat’.
Have our values become redundant?
India has been culturally acclaimed and, infact revered, by the foreigners. They remain awestruck when we narrate tales of how we all stay together under one roof, how we never send our senior citizens to old age homes and how we involve them in our lives.
I remember quiet clearly; we had some Dutch ladies as our houseguest some twenty years ago. They were clearly impressed by our family and were, infact, astounded when they saw that we lived in joint family. Although there were so many people, yet things worked on well without anyone stepping on the others’ feet. It was a lesson on managerial effectiveness, team work and interpersonal skills, I am sure they have learnt, which no Business schools would be able to teach.
Of course practicality demands that joint family disintegrate; but it seems that with this disintegration, our values and ideals, too have eroded. Whom should we blame for this? We have this habit of ‘passing the buck’ for we hate to take responsibility of this mass social degeneration on our shoulder-The mother-in-law blames the daughter-in –law; the father blames the mother; the sisters their brother, executives their bosses, the police points at the politicians , the politicians at the judiciary , the judiciary at the…. and this is how the blame game continues; nobody knows where it will stop for God has created plenty of earthlings to ensure that this game doesn’t stop.
Whatever the reason may be; the fact remains that she left her home, of over 50 years, in desperation.
This makes me ponder- where has materialism led us? In this rat- race of one- up – man ship, we have relegated our values, traditions and most importantly our souls to the proverbial ‘backseat’.
Have our values become redundant?
India has been culturally acclaimed and, infact revered, by the foreigners. They remain awestruck when we narrate tales of how we all stay together under one roof, how we never send our senior citizens to old age homes and how we involve them in our lives.
I remember quiet clearly; we had some Dutch ladies as our houseguest some twenty years ago. They were clearly impressed by our family and were, infact, astounded when they saw that we lived in joint family. Although there were so many people, yet things worked on well without anyone stepping on the others’ feet. It was a lesson on managerial effectiveness, team work and interpersonal skills, I am sure they have learnt, which no Business schools would be able to teach.
Of course practicality demands that joint family disintegrate; but it seems that with this disintegration, our values and ideals, too have eroded. Whom should we blame for this? We have this habit of ‘passing the buck’ for we hate to take responsibility of this mass social degeneration on our shoulder-The mother-in-law blames the daughter-in –law; the father blames the mother; the sisters their brother, executives their bosses, the police points at the politicians , the politicians at the judiciary , the judiciary at the…. and this is how the blame game continues; nobody knows where it will stop for God has created plenty of earthlings to ensure that this game doesn’t stop.
5 comments:
True, the need for the hour is Patience.. Patience and more Patience. That's when we start getting the grey hair.That's when we realise that all our waitings were in vain.
"understanding rather than holding on to something which is historical and more importantly irrelevant and impractical in todays context?"
I take the above lines from gourab's comments and wanna say WHo decides what is relevant? WHo decides the context? How can we negate or ignore history?
I have been following the debate with much interest and it makes me wonder whether we have become good pontificators? Its so easy to use words like patience, compassionate, respect...blah blah...
lets reflect on our lives - become intimate privy to our lives - are we following these dictums in our personal relationships? Are we really?
Or is it just a fad to say th eright stuff coz it looks good in print?
Me sounding cynical? No way, pals...just have experienced life in all its hues!!!
Look, I was soliloquizing on whether our values have become redundant or not. We should always “evolutionize” our thoughts considering our past experiences. That’s how society progresses.
What has happened in that family is none of my business; but, nevertheless, it did sow the seed of contemplation in my mind – how relevant is our traditional value? Should we teach our children the same dogmas that were taught to us, only to be ridiculed at later on?
I was wondering aloud what could be the probable reason of this gross degeneration of values. Is it because of the break up of family?
Look I am no advocate of the joint family system though. I personally believe that ever individuals are entitled to their own space.
It in this context, I wonder how is patience involved in deciding whether our values have become redundant.
I would like to disagree here...history is static - its out there...alreday happened. Society is dynamic, values are dynamic, culture is dynamic....these keep changing. These change coz people debate, discuss, dump some, tak on some - evolve as u have put it rightly.
And its not a question of sendin kids back to school in a dhoti. if its about evolution, then we have come so far by sifting through and picking on what we want in our lives from history, from the value system we have inherited from our parents, our own value system which we have as we grew up.... thats evolution.
And frankly, it all about choices. If you choose to wear a dhoti, nthin will stop u from wearing it. ofcourse there will be the stares and the glares from others - but that wud be coz they wud see u as a non-conformist - not wearing the pants and shirt!
I like ur point about expectations. have reflected much on it. Have come to the conclusion that we are prisoners in our own lil worlds - within our own intimate circle of family and friends, within the larger society. And when we choose to remian as prisoners, expectations from anything and everything wud be there. Thats my personal view ofcourse!
I remember Ayn Rand and Coelho's writing and love them for the feeling of freedom thats reflected in their books - wat say?
I suggest that Gaurab stop ‘meowing’ and pause for a moment to re-read what he has written. Man, the progress of mankind is due to evolution of the ‘once innovation’. And I really wonder what has ‘wearing dhoti’ got to do with values.
‘Clothes maketh a man’. I interpret this as a reflection of one’s personality. Wearing dhoti is very smart at certain places and at certain time; but, like saree, it is quiet cumbersome, to wear this piece of cloth to work. You sound like those orthodox Asses who judge a girl’s character by the dress she wears.
The bigger question is what is the future of the next generation that we have procreated. Are we giving out the right signals for them to fathom? Will they be interpreting these signals in its’ true context and would they be able to evolutionize them to suit the world so as to churn out a better, habitable world or would our planet, too would become a part of the list of content of the lost planet?
Values evolve with experience. Consider the present world scenario- bomb blast, rape, terrorism. What are we teaching our children?
I agree with Gaurab, though, on this that we should raise our kids without any kind of expectations. You are right.
But, once again I wonder- do we really do so? Broadly speaking, all of us are greedy- suckers. When we pray, don’t we expect something from God? This makes us human.
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